i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you traded sex for a burrito?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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