does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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