Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
