My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize