Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
