I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
