We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize