I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
