Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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