Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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