We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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