Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
