Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
