We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
