he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
