Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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