physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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