when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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