Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize