what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
