Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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