I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
