is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
