it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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