he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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