I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
