Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Found the puke drawer
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
