There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
