This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
