i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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