She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
