how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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