i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
