are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
