you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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