I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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