I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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