Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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