I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize