Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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