we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
