right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
