He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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