We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
