...so i touched it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
