Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
