Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
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It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life