i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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