the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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