You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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