I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
