so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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