Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize