i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
