If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
