You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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