My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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