im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
