he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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