doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
