the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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