when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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